The Band Wagon

Four Stars: ˜˜˜˜

This particular specimen is as fine a musical as you would expect from MGM in 1953. Another jaunt into showbiz, we accompany a troupe attempting to put on a Broadway show designed around an over-the-hill entertainer and a young ballerina but hijacked by a producer who wants a modern Faust story. Characteristic of the genre, comedy and dance numbers abound—with just a touch of heart, of course.

TRAILER 

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“I’ve had enough! …nevermind saying it: ‘Tony Hunter, 1953!’ I hereby declare my independence: ‘Tony Hunter, 1776!’”

“I should have listened to my mother. She told me only to be in hit shows.”

“You’ve got more scenery in this show than there is in Yellowstone National Park!”

The Three Musketeers

Four Stars: ˜˜˜˜

As long as you don’t mind the desecration of Alexandre Dumas’s classic novel, then you’re going to love this movie. A fantastical reinterpretation of the much-abused plot allows for new and improved action and adventure. With the archetypal trio recast as a sort of modern Special Forces unit, the imagination is allowed to expand upon wild concepts—such as Da Vinci airships in the 17^th century. From Venice to Paris to London, this movie is one crazy ride!

TRAILER 

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“In the words of King Solomon, ‘I’ll take both.’”

“I realized that being a man of the Cloth and a man of God aren’t always the same thing.”

“A thousand ways of saying no and only some of them mean yes.”

The Big Year

Four Stars: ˜˜˜˜

This movie was not what I was expecting from three such comedic giants—it was more. The story was about so much more than ornithology or “birding” as they call it. It was a journey along the thin line between passion and obsession. Each of the characters is into bird watching for different reasons, but the motivations behind their hobby are universal. This film makes you question why you live your life the way you do, since that is much more important than the how.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“No prize money but the bird seed endorsements are huge!”

“I’d like to see the birds of China one day. Know anything about them?” – “Peking duck?”

“They’re men, dear. If they ever stop competing, they die.”

Real Steel

Five Stars: ˜˜˜˜˜

This film is why we go to the movies! All of the acting was superb, but the kid stole the show as he helped his dad grow up. The dad, a broken down old boxer, had been throwing things away his whole life: his career, his robots, even his son. Together, they refurbish a discarded robot to take on the biggest, baddest fighting machines in the world. As the characters develop along with the plot, the audience cannot help but be encouraged in their own battles.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“Win or lose, fight’s not over till someone’s on the mat.”

“We fight smart, we be patient, we pray.… Seriously, pray!”

“1200 miles for a kiss?” – “Worth it.”

Once Upon A Mattress

Three Stars: ˜˜˜

The 2005 Disney film adaptation of the Broadway musical based on a classic fairy tale is priceless. We all know the story of the Princess and the Pea, but probably never imagined it like this: with a moat-swimming princess, a mamma’s boy prince, a mute old king explaining the birds and the bees through sign language and song…. I still can’t decide whose hair was more epic, Carol Burnett’s or Matthew Morrison’s. This movie is as far removed from reality as possible and a romping good time.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“Cinderella had outside help!”

“About those spurs, do you remember the royal joust when you won them? We had a picnic later under the spreading oak… and a lark was singing and you said you’d remember that moment forever because the lark’s song reminded you of my name… well, I’m gonna have a baby!”

“I certainly like almost both of your parents, Dauntless.”

Abduction

Three Stars: ˜˜˜

The dialogue was prosaic, the plotline was predictable, yet I still enjoyed this movie. Possibly because young Taylor has all the makings of an action/adventure star: at least three intense expressions, easy good looks, and promising stunt skills. Much of the movie felt like an amalgamation of Alfred Hitchcock and Jackie Chan films—in Pittsburgh, of all places. While obviously designed to showcase Lautner’s talent (breaking him out of Twilight), in a classic ending, it ended up being all about the girl.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“I don’t understand this game at all, but I like the popcorn.”

“The currency of this war is information.”

“When I’m finished, you will be responsible for the death of every friend you have on Facebook.”

A Knight's Tale

Four Stars: ˜˜˜˜

While it may have been produced in 2001, this movie about a medieval jousting champion seeks to span a thousand year gap. By blending classic rock, blatant feminism, and other modern elements into the background of the Dark Ages, the consistency of human nature is emphasized. The eternal themes of the universal human experience are artfully and entertainingly examined by the motley cast, later to become Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, and eventually, this incredibly re-watchable movie.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. Welcome to the new world. God save you, if it is right that He do so.”

“How would you beat him?” — “With a stick, while he slept.”

“I think it's time we celebrated our differences.”

Moneyball

Four Stars: ˜˜˜˜

Even though it is the American pastime, I am not a big baseball fan—however, I thoroughly enjoyed this particular examination of the game. It was incredibly well written and the cinematography was superb, as we watch one man try to change the way teams work. While it did drag in a few spots over the two and a half hours (and Brad Pitt’s chewing tobacco habit was distracting) overall, the romanticism of baseball was lovingly communicated through this film.

TRAILER

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“He’s got an ugly girlfriend. Ugly girlfriend means no confidence.”

“When your enemy’s making mistakes, don’t interrupt him.”

“Would you rather get a bullet to the head or five to the chest and bleed to death?”